Make Your Life Sparkle

You're either one of those people that can't wait for the summer, or you're like me and it doesn't make much of a difference. Since I bid goodbye to my days of sitting in a classroom, summertime just means I can no longer go to the mall on a Tuesday afternoon to avoid the afterschool crowd, and that I struggle with finding clothes to wear to work that I don't melt in.

And while summer is a time where you're supposed to relax and things slow down, it (sometimes unfortunately) gives you plenty of opportunity to reflect on where you are in life. A seasonally built-in, self-evaluation period. Unavoidably, conversations I have on a daily basis revolve around job hunts, grad school applications, ways to save money, and how one can move out of one's rathole sublet. That's it; because I'm still young enough where everyone I know is either a recent graduate, a new graduate or an impending graduate. I can tell you this much, no one likes having these conversations. I've been having these conversations for two years. Two. Years.

So not to be a downer, I'm not going to talk about that, exactly. What I do want to talk about stems from what I've learned from these conversations with my closest friends, various acquaintances, and even myself (I often have conversations with myself). A lot of people I know are unhappy with their general situations because of one or more of the topics mentioned above, and I want to offer some words of encouragement and hope, and maybe give you a kick to keep on trying to get out of whatever it is you want to get out of.

I have a neighbor, a lovely married woman in her early 40s with no children, who used to act as an older sister to me and take me out for sangria. She was let go from her job last July, one of those high-paying finance corporations, and now every time I run into her, she makes it her duty to tell me to "enjoy life" because she worked for years at a company she hated that tossed her out the second they downsized. She talks to me like she's talking to herself 20 years younger, about how she would have done life differently knowing what she knows now. She repeats, "it's too late for me." All I can think is, but how is it too late? (For simple logic's sake, you have about 50 more years to live, and to do that unhappily...?)

I talk with my closest friends about what we want in life, idly over coffee. A lot of us don't know, or perhaps some just don't want to share our innermost goals because they seem like far-fetched dreams. But like Cinderella says, dreams are wishes your heart makes. You can't be afraid to ask yourself what you want, make that wish, and go after it. Maybe you want a chance to interview at a new job or you just want your dishwasher to work properly so that dirty water finally drains properly--or both. By the rules of probability, if you make a hundred wishes, little or big, one is bound to come true eventually. It sounds silly but sometimes you just have to put it out there in the universe. Say it, out loud (I couldn't resist).



My best friend is really talented, and a go-getter. Among other things she wants to be a writer, but she's been at this job for over a year where I tell her she is completely under-appreciated. She has a Classics degree from an amazing university and somehow the person that tells her to make coffee is our age and didn't finish college. Sometimes she goes, "What I really want to do is..." but in a way of seriousness as if I were to say, "When I win the lottery..." I tell her if it's what she wants, I totally support her and will help her get there. Why can't she be a screenwriter, or the author of the next Harry Potter, or the editor in chief of a magazine if that's what she really wants to do? If not her, it'll be someone else that went after it. You know, Taylor Swift had a dream, and she went after it.



These aren't empty words of encouragement that I didn't tell myself to do either. The last two years of my life has be a limbo period of never-ending proportions. I totally get it. Personal issues to deal with aside, graduating college was supposed to be a diving off point into the next step of my life, namely a job. Not knowing where I was going to be heading, but it wasn't for not trying, was a pretty harsh reminder of my dead halt. There have been times where I could have detoured, but I didn't let myself settle for less than I wanted. People asked me why I didn't just work here or there because I was already good at this or that, but it's not what I wanted in my heart.

I'm going to tell you something that might seem trivial to anyone else. Although I went to college for something I loved which I wouldn't change even now, I didn't entirely try to pursue a career in what I studied because it didn't provide that...spark. That sparkling excitement that, ideally, you're supposed to have when you pursue anything in life.

I was 12 when I was allowed to the theater un-chaperoned with friends (I remember my first double-feature was Can't Hardly Wait and Ever After). I'd always leave the movie wanting to talk about what I just saw with more fervency than most. I can never talk enough about things that I like, to anyone that will listen--I mean, did you notice I have a blog about Twilight, just because I want to talk about this story and see who else wants to talk about it with me?

In college, I'd take the bus after class to catch matinees by myself because that's what I would call a good time, not hauling myself up the hill in pumps to a sweaty mixer. And always while I sat in the darkened theater with my popcorn in lap (there was always popcorn), the opening credits would play and I'd wish I could be a part of it. Not that I ever gave a moment's thought about being an actress or being behind a camera, there are talented people for that. I wanted to be a part of bringing the movies to people who got as excited to see them as I still do. That was my dream, and while it's still unofficial till I sign the papers coming my way, I got the greatest news this week because I finally got there. Two years ago, I could only wish to work for the company I will soon be actually working for. Two years of unpaid and minimally paid work that I did to get myself there, having met some really wonderful people along the way.

What I actually just want to say is that everyone has the chance to get what they want in life. Whether it's something little or something big, do something for yourself that makes you happy. I don't mean just job-wise, because there are many ways to be happy. In times where it seems you're the alien if you're not as over-stressed and depressed as the next person, change that.

You can baby step it. Get the manicure you've put off and escape for a pampered hour, sign up for the class on Italian cooking you've been curious about, or put on lip gloss and call a friend for drinks. Think about what you want. Write it down if you must. Once you change your mental outlook, go bigger. Let the little things in life go. I remember something I read in Glamour a year ago that put something in perspective. It was about a concept over how something would relate to you in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. I realized a most of my major life stresses at the time would barely affect me in 10 months, let alone 10 years.

In my thoughts to all of you, don't be afraid to say what you want and get it. Surround yourself with good people, people you trust and look out for that would do the same for you. People that will tell you to keep your head up when you can't tell yourself to. I'll be one of those people for you if you want. Start making your life sparkle. Take after Bella. She knew what she wanted and didn't let it go--immortality, the guy, and a family.


I can't wait for Eclipse.